Newsflash! Men Have Brains!

However, if it’s been a while since you last told him what you don’t want, it gets tricky.

What if he’s genuinely forgotten? What if he trusts that you’ll tell him ‘no’ when you’re uncomfortable, so he doesn’t store the memory long-term? What if he doesn’t realize that it’s a serious matter because you’re wishy-washy in other commitments?

That’s a partial quote of this comment to this post about rape culture, grey rape, and my own experiences with it.

WHAT IF HE DOESN’T STORE YOUR “NO” IN LONG-TERM MEMORY OKAY?

Leaving aside everything else that’s completely fucked up about justifying rape because a hypothetical rapist “forgot” his partner said no (not to mention the “you didn’t say no hard enough” victim blaming), let’s just talk for a second about how incredibly patronizing and disgusting it is to assume men are either incapable of retaining information or, you know, they just can’t be assed to do so.

That’s right, people! It ain’t rape - it’s just FORGETFULNESS.

This is what rape culture means: it’s never the rapist’s fault.

This is what rape culture means: it’s the woman’s fault for not communicating properly.

This is what rape culture means: it’s unreasonable to expect anything at all resembling responsibility from men.